Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Sat Jul 17, 2004 at 05:17:16 pm EDT

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The File Room: A Lee Bookman Adventure
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In the dark recesses of the Lair Legion mansion's basement, sits a man in a windowless room. He sits at a desk that has books, files & other assorted material relating to the LL. To the right of him is a computer for which he can access the LL's computer files. The room is littered with papers, file folders, boxes of files, book cases filled with books & other things.

This man is Lee Bookman, an IOL Librarian & associate member of the LL. He is also their unofficial record keeper. Lee is talking to him as he works.

"Hello, Lee!" said HALLIE, the Lair Legion's A.I. as she appears out of no where.

"hi" he said, not really paying attention. He was more concentrating on his work. Translating some texts, writing down notes, filing away files.

"How's it going?"

"Ok, I guess."

"Need any help?"

"Yes. To have files filed away when they are made. It's not that hard."

"What files?"

Lee got up from the desk & started to search for something.

"I found a lot of there files in a couple storage boxes labeled 'Stuff' & half of them were written in crayon. Do you know how long it takes to translate text from crayon to something readable?"

"No, not really."

"It took me two hours & then I then had to figure what they said. It may have been english but I couldn't read it. Maybe I should talk to Sir Wilton about signing the group up for penmanship classes?"

"I could talk to him."

"He's the one of the few people on the group that has nice handwriting. I'm glad he's here."

"I'm sure the rest of the team is, too."

"Ah, that's there they put it."

"What?"

"A LL report form '02 concerning filling. Oh, great. It's in crayon, too!"

Lee takes the file back to his desk & starts to run his fingers over the document to translate it. The text starts to shimmer a bit & changes as he runs his fingers over them.

"How do you do that?"

"Old IOL Trick. We can't know every language, so we translate. Most of the books back the MPL are in at least 234 different main languages & the rest we just translate into."

"How main languages do you know ?"

"I'm not sure. I know at least half of the main languages of the cosmos & the rest I know enough phrase that I could at least have an conversation with someone."

HALLIE was about to ask another question but has been around Lee long enough to know certain looks. He has a look now on his face that he might answer the question. HALLIE leaves.

A few minutes or hours later...

Lee pulls out his watch, it's a pocket watch that tells him Moon time & local time. "Today's LL meeting should be starting soon."

It's 8 am & Lee's been there all night, he's hasn't slept for a few days. He hasn't been back to the moon in weeks, either & he trusts that D.D. & A.LF.RED are doing ok or they would have called him by now.

He goes back to reading his book & then he hears something. Someone walking down the stairs. By the sound of the footsteps, the person walking is female. Lee also knows that it's Dancer. She was a very distinct way of walking, everyone does. It also sounds like she's carrying something or somethings that are heavy & as she walks she stops to turn on the lights in the walkway, a couple of the light switches she turns on with her foot. Lee keeps them off, because it save electricity & he's not in the hallway enough to have a reason for them to be on. Plus, Lee has a form of night vision built into his glasses so he doesn't need to turn on the lights. Dancer is getting closer. Lee goes back to book, again.

A few minutes later, Dancer walks into his "office", basically the file room.

"Hi, Lee!" Dancer says as puts a pile of books on a table by the door.

"hi." Lee says, not looking up.

Dancer walks over to the desk & peers over the piles in text on the desk. Lee then looks up.

"What can I do for you?" He says as put down his pen. He was making some notes about LL history.

"Mumphrey sent me down here with some books you may be interested in. There by the door." She said & then pointed at the books.

"Thank you."

"There's a Meeting in 20 minutes, if your not to busy." Dancer said, just before she left.

"I'm always busy." Lee says with a smirk.

Dancer lets out a small laugh & leaves. Lee hears her walk down the hallway, turning off the lights as she goes, then walking up the stairs.

A half hour later, the phones rings. Lee searches for it. He finds under a part of his early LL history pile. He answers the phone. "Hello, File Room. Lee Bookman speaking."

It's Mr. Epitome on the other end, he was wondering if Lee could look something up for him.

"Sure, no problem." Lee says as he gets out a pad of paper.

Epitome wants all the info the Legion has on Count Armageddon. Then, he ask if Lee knows of an info the IOL has on him.

"We might. Do you want me to check?"

He says yes & they both hang up.

Lee then pins a note about getting info on Count Armageddon for Epitome to his bulletin board. It's covered with a couple maps & various reminders like Get some info on so & so for someone or there a mandatory meeting sometime, record something for some because they will be out of town. Lee adds the note to the board.

"Hmm, what ever happened to Peter Von Doom?" Lee said to himself.

The End!


Footnote:

This is the first Lee Bookman story I have written in awhile. Reading Ian's LL stories with Lee in them recently insprired me to write this story.


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